What is life without God?
After I gained admission into my first university, the first few months I was carried away by the fun and excitement of being a freshmen. Life without parents’ orders and staying alone and doing what I wanted per time. I was only 18 years old. Lived alone and took care of my bills. With all this bills at my age and trying to keep up with my fellow freshmen – I put myself under unnecessary pressure. I stopped my fellowships with God. I didn’t party but I was just too busy doing nothing. I did not havetime for God. I was blinded by the things of this world.
Remember that since the day I received my salvation, I was just operating under the measure of faith and the Holy Spirit he gave me with the salvation package. I wasn’t baptised with the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues. I did not allow the Holy Spirit to guide me or take absolute control over me rather, I was gratifying the desires of the flesh. I was powerless.
I began to feel a gap in my heart. A space that needed to be filled desperately. I didn’t know that it was a sign to reconnect back to my maker. I yearned for a sense of belonging, I looked for what felt like God’s love. That’s where I messed up because nothing can be compared to God’s unconditional for us. I met a young who looked so responsible and caring. He made me believed his undying for me. I trusted and laid my life for him. Unfortunately, we started having daily quarrels because he demanded of what I couldn’t give him. Trust me, God’s grace has always been on my shoulder. His principles were still bold in my heart.
It was on a Friday afternoon when I decided to check on him, and behold! I found the person I have been fantasising to be future husband (without God) with someone else. My heart broke apart. I lost hope in love (was it is even love of infatuation?). I felt robbed of the sense of belonging I found for myself. I was even ashamed to ask God for to help because he was never informed in the first place. I lost my inner peace without God. I felt lost and broken.
Go back to the porter’s house
With my broken self, I thought I could restore myself the joy I oncehad. I tried by all means to rekindle the zeal, thirst and hunger I had for God. The more I tried the more I realised how vulnerable and weak I was becoming. Little did I remember that his grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made in weakness, (1Corinthians 12:9).
God created you and I and he created us with great plans for each one of us. The fact that you missed your way or feel terrible about the mistakes or choices you made doesn’t mean that His plans for you changes. He madeit clear that, “come to me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28-29 (KJV).